During a press conference on Wednesday, Tristan Loraine, director of 31 North 62 East, reminded us that his entire feature length debut was put together on the budget of 13 minutes of Eastenders.
He shaved a minute off even that during his introduction at Wednesday night’s Premiere at The Capitol.
This is movie making on a shoestring, and no doubt needed a level of devotion and dedication from Tristan and his team to scrimp, save, beg and borrow that most of us will never experience.
John Rhys Davies, best known for his role as Gimli in Lord of the Rings and star of 31 North, 62 East, said: “I’m astonished by Tristan’s ability to direct, as a first time director.
“The fact that he has got this far is tremendously encouraging for the movie industry.”
And Rhys Davies is right - we should be proud of Tristan. Whoever thought that Limousines would be pulling up at the red carpet for a bow tie film premiere right here in Horsham?
Introducing the film, Tristan said that a deal had been signed to screen 31 North 62 East in 50 screens across the country, which would mean a ten-fold return for the film’s investors. It was a point he had made throughout the press conference - how important it was that the investors saw a return.
So we congratulate you, Fact Not Fiction Films, on what you have done for the town, and Tristan in particular for the realisation of a dream, even if he refers to his debut merely as a “stepping stone” to bigger and better things.
But can we tell you, the viewing public, that this film is worth watching? No.
The film, a psychological political thriller, tells the story of British Prime Minister John Hammond (Rhys Davies) who gives up the position of an SAS unit in Afghanistan to ensure an £80 billion arms deal goes through – thus assuring his re-election.
All soldiers in the SAS unit are thought to have died, until two months later, when one of them (a female Captain in the SAS) is found by Italian special forces and returns to the UK to investigate matters.
Heather Peace of London’s Burning and Ultimate Force fame plays the lead role as Jill Mandelson, the SAS Captain, while Marina Sirtis, known for her role as Commander Deanna Troi of Star Trek, plays the part of Sarah Webber, a Government spin doctor.
If the plot sounds like it has promise, the twist-free and predictable script soon puts paid to any hopes of us being ‘thrilled’, as we’re spoon-fed through scenes where action is neglected in favour of the kind of political conspiracy theorising which might get you third place at a student debate contest.
Most of it revolves around wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but occasionally the script branches out to other topics (“You said that it was okay to eat beef and how many lives did that little lie cost?”)
Criminally, there’s a total lack of humour, rejected even on the occasional chance it presents itself, with only the local references (Bar Vin, The Bedford, West Sussex County Times all get exposure, amongst many others) raising a smile.
The cast are clearly struggling to make a good fist of what they’ve been given. While most toil, the only one who really comes out with much credit is Heather Peace. She gives a stirring performance despite working off some film school acting during her torture scenes early in the film.
Quite how she managed to generate such a performance during the almost comical scene where her captors inserted just the end of a toothpick (with flags on) into her finger nails and then, really, blew them with a fan, is beyond us.
As is what the crew did during their time in Jordan. A considerable percentage of the budget was eaten up by the trip to shoot on location, yet other than an aerial shot of a dusty road, they might as well have saved themselves some money and shot the scenes in a cellar with some sand in it.
Sorry to go on (we’ll try and end on a positive note!) but the music too is risible. Some of the songs were written especially for the film, and it’s hard to fathom what Fact Not Fiction Films heard of rock musician Paul Garbutt to make them think this was a good idea.
Surely, it wasn’t his song ‘Hell of A Prayer’, played in its entirety during a mid-film montage during which nothing happens (sample line: “Where’s the Moon Shining on the Lake, Where’s the Sound of the Rattlesnake”).
It would fit beautifully into a Trey Parker/Matt Stone film (Team America/South Park). Trouble is, they’re joking.
We really hope that many of you will go and see this movie, because it’s great news for Horsham. We just can’t guarantee that you will enjoy it.
But Tristan Loraine will be back. You suspect that, from his words about filming being a “learning curve”, he knows he’ll do a lot better next time out, and we wish him all the best and eagerly await his next attempt.
Which will, incidentally, be a film called A Dark Reflection which will be filmed here in Horsham, before work starts on major project Shadows in the Sky.
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